I Wanna Sparkle!

“…Kept for Him that in me He may show forth some tiny sparkle of His light and beauty…”
~ Frances Havergal

This quote sums up where I am going be someday. I know that my Daddy continues to draw me to Himself that I may exude His glory. I am to be a demonstration of His love to everyone around me. Have you ever met those people that walk into the room and there is no way you can deny that they are walking in the Light. The presence of the Father surrounds them wherever they go. I am going to be that someday. I'm past saying "I want to get there someday." It has nothing to do with arrogance but I simply won't stop until I reach that level of beauty. He is demanding ROYALTY!!!

"Beauty puts a face on God. When we gaze at nature, at a loved one, at a work of art, our soul immediately recognizes and is drawn to the face of God." ~Margaret Brownley

I know that the Lord has put things in me to help other people. I can minister to a broken girl and tell her how much her Daddy loves her but more so than that I shouldn't have to say a word. I want people to look at me and only see the radiance of my Father. It's not about, "Oh Kaylee? Yeah, she's a nice girl" it needs to be a "Kaylee? Wow, that girl carries the glory of God with her everywhere! I KNOW I am loved because she is living proof!" I don't want people to be drawn to me or my personality. I want to draw people to the face of God.

"Beauty is one of the rare things that do not lead to doubt of God."~Jean Anouilh

That's right, even the most evil being can't deny God when he/she is faced with true beauty. It is an expression of Him. It IS Him!!!

"Real strength never impairs beauty or harmony, but it often bestows it; and in everything imposingly beautiful, strength has much to do with the magic."~Herman Melville

I simply LOVE that quote. Many people perceive strength as being abrupt, harsh, or bold. It goes hand in hand with beauty. Real beauty isn't weak or passive. It is courageous, constant, and unwavering. It is STRONG! It really does encompass every aspect of the Father.

"Character contributes to beauty. It fortifies a woman as her youth fades. A mode of conduct, a standard of courage, discipline, fortitude and integrity can do a great deal to make a woman beautiful."~Jacqueline Bisset

My prayer is that as I would become a woman that my Daddy can "show forth a tiny sparkle of His light and beauty"I want to carry His heart and everyone that sees me would smell His fragrance and be touched with His glory...

For His Purpose Alone...

Yet again Mr. Chambers has hit to the core of me. Lately the Lord has really been laying ministry on my heart. I know that I am called to minister to people and my biggest question has been, "Who?" He has started giving me small glimpses of what that may look like through different people, prophetic words they have spoken over me (thanks again, Morgan!), or by simply opening my eyes to my surroundings. I could pretty much start anywhere! So this excerpt from Chambers was so incredible to me...you should read it.

"Partakers of His Sufferings-Rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings."

If you are going to be used by God, He will take you through a multitude of experiences that are not meant for you at all, they are meant to make you useful in His hands, and to enable you to understand what transpires in other souls so that you will never be surprised at what you come across. Oh, I can't deal with that person. Why not? God gave you ample opportunity to soak before Him on that line, and you barged off because it seemed stupid to spend time in that way.

I can't even count how many times I have thought that! Mostly with my own family. I am learning now though to not always ask, "why me?" because it may in fact have nothing to do with me at all! The Lord calls us to do great things for Him and He never leaves us empty handed. Instead of letting a situation or the person's circumstance intimidate me, I need to walk up to it with confidence! "If He brings you to it, He'll bring you through it". If He places someone in my path how dare I feel incompetent. HE has equipped me to speak into their life! Mmmm...that's so good.

The sufferings of Christ are not those of ordinary men. He suffered "according to the will of God," not from the point of view we suffer from as individuals. It is only when we are related to Jesus Christ that we can understand what God is after in His dealings with us. IT is part of Christians culture to know what God's aim is. In the history of the Christian Church the tendency has been to evade being identified with the suffering of Jesus Christ; men have sought to procure the carrying out of God's order by a short cut of their own. God's way is always the way of suffering, the way of the "long, long trail." Are we partakers of Christ's sufferings? Are you prepared for God to stamp our personal ambitions right out? Are prepared for God to destroy by transfiguration our individual determinations? It will not mean that we know exactly why God is taking us that way, that would make us spiritual prigs. We never realize at the time what God is putting us through; we go through it more or less misunderstandingingly; then we come to a luminous place, and say- "Why, God has girded me, though I did not know it!"

I guess that would be my encouragement to you, as you are walking through fire or even just unusual circumstances know IT IS BIGGER THAN YOU!!!! We are such self-focused people that we have a tendency to complain about our burden because we see it as punishment instead of the Lord equipping us for His purposes. We are His vessels! He is filling us! Get over yourself!!!! There really isn't anything more fulfilling than knowing that our Father trusts us enough to accomplish His work so please, PLEASE bear that cross with honor and humility...

In Union...

So I just read through my Oswald Chambers this morning and it was incredible. I wanted to share it with everyone because maybe it will bless you in some way!

"Individuality- 'If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself.'"

Individuality is the husk of the personal life. Individuality is all elbows, it separates and isolates. It is the characteristic of the child and rightly so; but if we mistake individuality for the personal life, we will remain isolated. The shell of individuality is God's created natural covering for the protection of the personal life; but individuality must go in order that the personal life may come out and be brought into fellowship with God. Individuality counterfeits personality as lust counterfeits love. God designed human nature for Himself; individuality debases human nature for itself. The characteristics of individuality are independence and self-assertiveness. It is the continual assertion of individuality that hinders our spiritual life more than anything else. If you say-"I cannot believe,"it is because individuality is in the road; individuality never can believe. Personality cannot help believing. Watch yourself when the Spirit of God is at work. He pushes you to the margins of your individuality, and you have either to say-"I shan't" or surrender, to break the husk of individuality and let the personal life emerge. The Holy Spirit narrows it down every time to one thing. The thing in you that will not be reconciled to your brother is your individuality. God wants to bring you into union with Himself, but unless you are willing to give up your right to yourself He cannot. "Let him deny himself"- deny his independent right to himself, then the real life has a chance to grow."

I know these aren't really my own thoughts but I think Chambers states it all too well. There is one part here that I want to focus on. I absolutely love the statement that He wants union with us but until we are willing to give up our right to ourselves, He can't. If that doesn't make you fall on your face, I don't know what will. The King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Creator of the Heavens and Earth, our FATHER is ASKING! He WANTS to bring us in to union with Him. There couldn't be a more glorious thing! I think of it as a marriage...When I get married I am to become one flesh with my husband, in union. Of course that though excites me! But marriage is to be an earthly example of the marriage with Christ with His bride-the church. So how DARE I not lay down my flesh, my right to myself. Even the thought of that makes me sick and I hope it does the same for you. I'm laying it down right now...I long for that intimacy with the Father like no other. I want to dance alone with my Daddy! I want nothing more than to be in union with Him.

Wow, Morgan, we really ARE blessed to be single!!! We have this time completely alone with the Lord and He wants to spend it JUST with us! I feel so special....

Long Way to Go...

The heart is a strange, beautiful thing. It seems to contradict itself when actually it is the most consistent thing of our being. It’s what gives us joy, pain, life, death, love, hate, passion, and desire. The clue as to who we really are and why we are here comes to us through our hearts desire. It is the wellspring of life. Anything that makes life worth living comes from your heart. It is the deepest, truest you. That thrills me and scares me to death…

Why does God allow your heart to be in two geographical locations and you can’t feel complete in one or the other? How is it supposed to fit together?

Why is it that your heart pulls you in two directions? Or is it just your mind and heart playing tug-a-war? How do you know which is which?

Why does love hurt so much, in a good way? "...Love isn't jealous..." (1Cor. 13:4) Does that mean it isn't really love when jealousy is involved?

Love...it screams at you until you listen...it holds you when your hurt...it hits you upside the head to show you the truth...it endures the pain until there is rest...it never lies...it is tough...it is jubilant...gives you joy more than anything else...makes you weak...makes you strong...makes you fly...makes you fall...is stronger than friendship, but can't survive without it...won't let you quit...it steals...it gives you everything that you need...sifts out the chaff...it cannot be contained or ignored...is more than just a night...always strives for better...never settles for anything but 'great'...looks beyond the present...it can be the death of us...but it is what gives us life...it is consuming...like a fire you can't put out...it is reckless...it is perfect...it is beauty...

I want to know a love like that…I believe without doubt that is what the Lord has for me ...Until then I will wait with an expectancy to receive the highest I possibly can and never settle...and I will enjoy the adventure along the way.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keep no record of wrong. Loves does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails…”

I want to be that…I want to encompass that...I want to HAVE that...

I guess I’ve got something to work on, ‘eh?

It's about time, 'eh?

Well here I go. I’m officially a ‘blogger’. While I won’t be as consistent or diligent as Miss Katie, I will do my best to update what’s going on in my crazy life. Plus Morgan said that she would keep hers updated if I got one so I gave in. :)

Yesterday was one week since I left Washington. That seems insane to me. It feels like forever ago since I made those (few) trips to the airport and left the beautiful mountains that I love so much! At the same time I feel like I just got home yesterday and for the life of me can’t get caught up on housework and other ‘normal’ life routines. The day after I got back Mom and I made a quick trip in to Bismarck (that’s the closest decent sized town about 45 minutes from my house. Just so you guys knowJ). I had to come up with a winter background for Santa pictures I took Sunday so we went in to get supplies. I absolutely love the times I get to spend with just my Mom. It is a very rare occasion! I filled her in on everything I could think of about my trip. I don’t remember her saying much that whole time come to think of it…haha While I was on the plane I wrote my ‘criteria’ for my husband so I shared that with her as well. It was such a fun time.

Sunday was our towns Christmas celebration, Christ Kindlemarkdt (yes, we are a German community!). The festivities started at 3:30 but a bunch of us were there at noon to set up. There were hay rides, food vendors, homemade crafts, kids games, door prizes, and of course, Santa pictures! I have been the photographer the last few years and I absolutely love it. This year I had to come up with a background for it as well and it turned out really nice despite my lack of creativity! One little detail that the coordinator forgot to mention this year is that I had to dress up like a ‘real’ Santa helper…an elf. Yup, an elf. So I go in to put my costume on and it was a one size fits all, meaning anyone 100-300lbs. I used the extra pins I had to give a little shape and not look like I was wearing a bed sheet. The best part was the pantyhose. One leg green, one leg red. They were hysterical! But was so great is they were a few sizes too small so I felt like a penguin, waddling around. Yes, I’m awesome, I know…Here a few pictures from the night.




Other than that there really aren’t a whole lot of things to report. It is absolutely freezing here, POURING down snow, and the wind is blowing. It looks like a snow globe. I am sincerely convinced that is how God views North Dakota during the winter.



So here is something I have been thinking about lately…
Ryan and I had a conversation about the power of words. Ever since then it has been on the forefront of my mind and God has given me a lot of revelation about areas in my life where I have become lethargic and don’t uphold the standard I so boldly proclaim. It was a really good call up and a day later I found this written by an artist that I really like about a song he wrote called The Blessing:



"There is incredible power in the spoken word I used to speak all kind of curses and negative self-fulfilling prophesies over my life. Not only our words, but our thoughts have tremendous power over us. “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he..”psalm 23:7(NKJ). If we think thoughts of depression, we will be depressed. If we think or say we’re a failure, we will gravitate towards that. We must fill ourselves with the word of God, and then practice speaking it. He has set life and death, blessings and curses before us. It is our choice with every thought, word and deed to BE a blessing or a curse. “..Now choose life that you and your children might live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob."


THE BLESSING (Deuteronomy 30:19) J.Waller & Troy Denning


Let it be said of us / while we walked among the living / let it be said of us / by the ones we leave behind / let it be said of us / that we lived to be a blessing for life / let it be said of us / that we gave to reach the dying / let it be said of us / by the fruit we leave behind / let it be said of us that our legacy is blessing for life / this day / you set life, you set death right before us, this day / every blessing and curse is a choice now / and we will / choose to be a blessing for life / let it be said of us / that our hearts belonged to Jesus / let it be said of us / that we spoke the words of life / let it be said of us / that our heritage is blessing for life /chorus/ for your Kingdom / for our Children / for the sake of every nation

There you go, my first blog! Enjoy...:)
(And Morgan, that beach picture is for you...that is as close to 'beach' as we get out here!)